So prom this year was fun, as you can see we got a corsage/boutonniere for one another and it all worked out. This is Siobhan and I doing our best prom stance. I remember this year as more fun than last - perhaps because of the impending gradation? Regardless it was as Siobhan put it "like being at a wedding with no bride and groom". The food was OK, they kept a tight grip on the liquor (even running out of the 'free' drinks quite early) and the DJ kept it dialed in on the same top 40 BS they play on almost every radio station everywhere (when are we, as a collective culture, going to decide that it's OK to listen to new music and that the same 150 classic rock songs don't need to be on constant repeat everywhere 40 years after they were recorded?) Regardless it was fun and there was dancing (both ironic and not) and i will say we had a good time.
Chemo 9 and 10 went as normal, i am in the grips of 10 now and will say that i am excited that there are only 2 left. Everything was pretty normal for 9, with the exception of the realization that the drugs were starting to get to me psychologically as well as physically. They call this "chemobrain" , and i hadn't heard the term before session 9 when i overheard it three times in one day at the center. The general feelings are forgetfulness, confusion as to how to proceed in everyday activities, or a general dazed feeling.
These are some strong drugs they are giving us and they do have more than the intended effects. The ones that i keep experiencing beyond the above are what i like to call little mind and big mind. Little mind is when i close my eyes and i get the feeling that parts of my body (specifically my hand) is about 20 times bigger than normal - the hand is as big as the rest of my body. Like if stick your hand right up to your eye, and imagine being microscopically close so you can see all the indentations and crevices and paths. It feels like my mind is tiny and swimming in a vast skull. The feeling doesn't hurt and usually goes away when i open my eyes a bit, and is usually only experienced in the first week after chemo, but there it is for everyone keeping score.
While i have been feeling "little brain" for a while i just recently started feeling the opposite last weekend - big brain. Same deal but the opposite - when i close my eyes i get the feeling that my body is as tiny as a fetus, while my brain as large as normal. Everything on my body feels distant and tiny. Again, just something i experienced while taking one of several naps on the couch, nothing too serious but something to consider in regards to how toxic the stuff they are putting in my is.
Speaking of which, some gory news - skip this if you are squeamish- i asked the nurse why they wipe off the port after each push ( the port is this thing they put in me each time i go to the hospital so they don't have to stick me 7 times) and she said that some of the stuff they put inside me can BURN AWAY SKIN ON CONTACT... whoa. No wonder i feel so good! I have super skin burning acid in me!
I just remembered i forgot to go get my shot today, i will have to leave you with that so i can run up there before they close...
