Doin' the Funky Chicken

this is me in mid-chew. you can see the portable scrabble tile in the lower left (thanks suzanne!).
So had second session today, all went well. Am back up to 178 lbs, which is good, soon I will be back in bizness in the upper 180s. I must say I didn’t like 170, it made my butt too boney and nowhere I sat was comfy.



Dad and Siobhan joined me for the session, we again started scrabble a bit too late to finish the game, when all the chemicals were in me we were all neck and neck, within a few points of each other. We decided that the game was far from over and that this contest would be decided at another time. Hopefully next time I won’t be passing out free shots at the triple word boxes like I was today… I blame the chemicals.



They gave me a different kind of anti-nausea this time, it was a “push” which means a very large syringe filled with drugs that they put in thru the little arm port they put in me each time I come to chemo. It supposedly lasts for five days, which I believe, as it is now Wednesday afternoon as I write this and I have felt little or no nausea from the drugs this time (yet, knock on wood, last time day three was the roughest)



The only problem I had yesterday was my own fault, as I got a little peckish in the early evening and had a snack. UNFORTUNATELY that snack was some old chicken – I took a bite and then another, decided it tasted “off” and spit it out, throwing the rest away. Little did I know that this one taste, this paltry morsel of poultry would go on to do such damage and cause so much discomfort.



I eventually ate a real dinner, and as I was still feeling good went back to the office to work on a flyer for the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus (thanks caution), whom I had been wanting to do something for for quite some time and was determined to do something nice for, chemo and sleep be damned. Finishing around 9, I took a cab home and got to bed around 11. Then around 2 it hit – a sharp stomach pain that for some reasons known only to the uncounscious my brain decided to call C6. (WARNING: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF BODILY FUNCTIONS AHEAD. PROCEED ACCORDINGLY) Then it was up and down all night, barfing and reeling, half passed out on the couch with alternating cups of soon to be returned ginger and peppermint tea. Thank goodness I had at least cleaned the bathroom the day before so I had someplace clean to purge in. In hindsight, I could have done with some kaopectate tho as it took a few hours to get everything up, I think around 630 the stomach finally stopped cramping enough to crawl back to the bedroom. Siobhan was nice enough (seeing that she was up anyway at this unholy hour to make her work start time of 830) to go get me some ginger ale and a hot water bottle from downstairs, which calmed my raging inner midsection enough to let me finally grab a few hours of blissful sleep. What a lady!



Work was nice enough today to reschedule my noon for 4 so i still was able to do everything i needed to do. Thank goodness for all you accommodating people out there...

WEEKEND PIC UPDATE

ok, long weekend, feeling good, lotsa action lotsa pics.

first off- the fruits of our shadez search- thank you st marks place sunglass merchants! as i said before the $7-$8 you spend on cheap shadez you get back maybe, oh , $100 worth of awesome feeling walking down the street with hot glasses on. my opinion. and if you loose or sit on them, you are only out your $8 and it's time to get another pair.

sunday nite ned and james accompanied us to hot pot city in queens. $25 all you can eat hotpot, $28 all you can eat hotpot and all you can drink (cheap) beer. what more could you want? oh, how about free kareoke if you reserve a room in advance?!?!?! can you say party time?
this trip tho we were more interested in the cuisine. i still prefer grand sezhuan near manhattan bridge (for the spectacular freshness of their veg) but this place won on quantity. that pile of beef and lamb there was about four times higher at first. james is eating a (formerly) live crab which he proclaimed to be the sweetest dish of the nite. i myself spiked the deck a little by eating too much peanut butter sauce, but it tasted so good on the little shrimps i just couldn't quit it.


and finally monday, day before CHEMO 2, we met kristy, alex, nicole and mike at Gahm Si Oak in koreatown where the ladies had an impromptu hat contest, the results you can see below...

everyone's a winner! we ate much food and chatted for about two hours, CRANIUM was mentioned (my sister is sending a copy my way as you read this) and this dinner party could be said to contain the kernel of the CRANIUM party which will be held sometime soon in which a lot of us will get together for food and cheese and CRANIUM BOARDGAME MADNESS!!!!!

Feeling Good Feeling Great How Are You?

ahh... i haven't felt this good since the end of October. I am at the end of the two week cycle of chemical war so the body has more or less recovered from the chemical blasts of chemo given a few weeks back. My energy and appetite are more or less back to "normal" for now, i assume the next blast of chemo will knock me around a little again but for now i am enjoying myself a little, going out and doing things and not feeling like i need to be home on the couch drinking tea trying not to get sick. Today Siobhan and I are going to the East Village to look for a new wool hat for her and possibly some new shades as it is bright and cheap sunglasses are one of life's simple pleasures that i feel are slightly inexhaustible. why not have some hot lenses as you walk around the city? If you loose them, you are out $8 and just have an excuse to go get some newer ones. We will also be on the lookout for CRANIUM, which several parties have been teasing us for weeks with the possiblility of having a "cranium" night (cranium is a board game that combines most parlor games including trivial pursuit, charades, pictionary, name that tune and others into one meta-board game of uproarious fun) but apparently NYC is experiencing a CRANIUM drought and you can't buy one at any store... a mystery. One of many to be solved as we head out the door...

Too Much Ice Cream Makes Jason A Little Bit Quesy-21 Jan 08

So today being MLK day and account of Siobhan and I having a glorious day off and also because it was brutally, brutally cold we thought it would be a good idea to go on a food adventure to get weird ice cream. I must say we started the day fine, as downstairs neighbor Ryan felt the calling to attempt to make croissant from scratch. As many of you might know this is quite the endeavor but we have to give high marks for not burning most of them and the last batch actually looking quite good. I must say that they were quite tasty too, them being composed mostly of butter.
After being filled up halfway with butter we decided to fill the rest with cream by making the trek to Kew Gardens to check out this ice cream place that was supposed to have very eclectic flavors. Siobhan, in doing research for her urban planning internship, had discovered this small ice cream shop deep in queens (one subway and two buses) that supposedly had flavors such as but not limited to: Lox. Herring. Sour Creme. Donut. Baklava. Ruggalach. and many more. Intrigued, and knowing her addiction would not rest until she was sated, I agreed to accompany her on the trek to find out if it was really as gross as some of the blogs put it or if it was merely all smoke and mirrors disguising a wonderful undiscovered (by us) gem.


So here i am eating a few scoops of birthday cake and halvah ice cream. The place is called Max & Mina's, and i must say for it being around 20˙ out the place was doing a great biz of local hasidic people and their many many children. I can't imagine what it's like when it's hot out. Anyway, on account of it being so cold, the truly weird flavors (herring?) were not around, tho we did try some 'nova lox' which actually did taste like salmon. it was interesting but not interesting enough (read: gross) to actually eat a whole scoop. the thing we found that we liked was that they had a lot of flavors (fruity pebbles, donut, birthday cake) that consisted of a base mixed with some stuff. after both eating two servings we saw a girl walk out with an "oreo explosion" that actually lived up to the name, so at some point this summer i could see bringing the bikes out here and giving it another shot.

Stomach update: later this evening we had a wonderful dinner with my former roommate Matt Tait and his wife Claudia. They made a pork neapolitan pasta sauce which, along with their lovely company, was superb. Claudia reminded me of why i was drinking Milk Thistle Tea- it is a strong anti-oxidant that helps your liver clean things out. Since part of the whole chemical battle is getting all the dead things (and more importantly, the toxicity left over from all the chemo) out of my body I was very interested in helping out the old liver. As some of you know i am further helping the liver during this time by not imbibing any alcohol for the duration. I do miss beer, but not as much as i am going to miss it once it gets warm!

Real Stomach Update - don't eat so much butter and cream. you will pay later. in the middle of the night. yechhh.

but to end on a nice note, a sunset view of queens

Things are Looking Up - Fri 18 Jan- Sat 19 Jan

So friday I felt better, and I got to see my sister Julie and her husband Mark who came into town (just to see me!). We started out with Dim Sum in Chinatown, and i have to say getting there at 1130 makes all the difference as we had everything to choose from and no competition from large groups of elderly Chinese people hell bent on eating all the food!!!
Later on we tried to go to Resto but it was full so we ended up on 6th st in the east village trying to decide which indian joint had the most lights. you can see who won above, and who won below
yes we filled Mark up with indian food, then some beer, then went to a Neo-Futurists performance of Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind, an experimental play series where they perform 30 original plays in 60 minutes. Very entertaining, thought it would be nice for a spot of culture after a week of work.

The next morning, brunch (can you see a thread here of how i am taking the tactic of eating anytime i feel nauseous quite literally?!?) then ice skating. A few days ago i thought this would be impossible but as the chemical war within settles down a little and my body regains control i am feeling better, and as you see below, quite capable of skating around the ice (dull skates and two inches of powder be damned).
this was all on occasion of Christy, Alex's GF, friend of Siobhan and I, her birthday. Yes we brought cookies and later ate hamburgers at Dram Shoppe. My formerly lauded skill at bar shuffleboard apparently has been negated by some pill or the other as i found myself completely useless at the boards and with that we called it a day well spent.

not every day is golden, but rotisserie chicken is

So yesterday was a bit rough on the old nausea. None of the pills (not even the green one) seemed to do any good all day. as I navigated myself thru this day, drinking as much water as possible and sitting thru one of the twice yearly "long meetings" I figured out that this nausea thing is going to be a learn-as-you-go-experience, like everything else it seems. so, instead of moaning about the vague feeling of unease and burpiness that accompanied me all day i will list the THINGS I LEARNED:

1. If you feel nauseous go eat something
2. That something shouldn't be just pizza
3. That something, if it is pizza, should not be followed by another slice of pizza at a different pizza place, both of which happen to be near work but neither of which had ever been tried because i was under the correct impression that they were A-gross B-slow and C-overpriced. Well, sbarros' was AC and the little Italian joint on Hester AB so thats two losers. Three if you count me, who was cranky and irratible all day no matter how many damn pills i ate (the two compazine i took made my jaw ache a little today, so that means no more of that).

The cure? The Salvation? The Thing to Do?

4. Eat a Good Meal! I met Dallas Mo BenSparks Shane and Kim! in park slope at Poco Rosa and had me some rotisserie chicken, spinich mashed pototos and tacu-tacu. Yes, i should have pics but like i said i was cranky till the smooth juices of Rotisserie Goodness crossed mine lips and soothed the beast within. Conversation ran smoothly, gossip exchanged, information related and exposed, Kim explained how to make a fireworks display that looks great on still photos but kinda crappy in the sky, Ben cleaned all plates for the asking, and Mo told some amusing anecdotes about escaping twelve feet of snow and relatives.

5. Get some proper sleep.


so that was yesterday, today went pretty smooth (as smooth goes) so lets see if i can take this information and make myself more comfortable as the chemical battle inside me rages on.

First Chemo! 15 Jan

First Chemo Today. very smooth, played scrabble with Siobhan, ate pumpkin bread, antioxidant trail mix, and root veggie potato chips.  The chemo place is conveniently located very near the one manhattan location of Trader Giotto so it is easy to eat well. For those who want to know i am on the ABVD regimen. Here i am making a move on the wonderful Travel Scrabble set Suzanne so generously loaned...

no real nausea or anything right away, i left and went back to work. Around two hours later tho i started to shake a little, and at first thought it was psychosomatic since they told me it might happen. Then the teeth started to chatter, and i couldn't really type, so i thought "hmm, i should give them a call." or should i say "Hi-i-i-i-ii    sho-o-oo-o-u-u-l-d    c-c-c-c-all   th-ththth-them".   They told me to take one of the green pills (yay green pill) and some Benadryl (an antihistamine) and whaddya know? no more shakin'! i jumped on the train to go uptown for a meeting and grabbed a slice and some ginger ale on the way. After about an hour i noticed something different - super energy boost! I met Rogan and Ned, did an install, ate a burger, went back to the office, finished work, started this blog, went home at 1130 still full of fire and chatted with the roomies for an hour before figuring i should settle down. this from a guy who can't usually make it past 1030 lately! i was very excited to get some of the old energy back... until i told the nurses today and they told me that the green pill (dexamethasone) is a steroid and gives you a "boost". Ah well it was worth it i got the work done...

hospital pt deux

a small party was made for me by my friends on Jan 5, the day after they drained the heart fluid.  oddly enough the pic shows two bottles of lemon lime gatorade, which is interesting for two reasons - the first being that two of those bottles is about liter, which is how much fluid they removed from the sack around my heart, and the second was it was EXACTLY THE COLOR OF GATORADE, which i had been drinking like mad in the days before the hospital visit in an effort to stay hydrated. A Mystery? or a Solution?

siobhan claims there were more people than this around but i was a bit out of it. i was happy to see them all and they brought me some very nice books and more importantly, travel scrabble with word dictionary. this will figure in very importantly in days to come, my friends.

some hot pix from the hospital

here i am in the ER getting lots of red dot EKG patches put on- i had quite the collection going. it hurts when they rip it off tho and it takes the chest hair. yaouch.

this is after i got moved to Oncology ward after the heart draining (see below). they gave me some new threads, i shoulda swiped the robe, it was pinstriped. 

i also should have kept these nice socks. the little toe breeze was key in keeping it com-for-tab dans le hopital 

i've got cancer

hi everyone

(scroll to bottom for ten second version)

as some of you might have heard, i've got cancer. wait, if you hadn't heard yet don't freak out and start crying, its called hodgkins lymphoma and it is very treatable and very non threatening. its one of the cancers they actually refer to as "the good cancer" because it responds so well to treatment (over 90% cure rate).  i am fine with all this, kindof treating it like the car needs to get fixed, but UNLIKE the madagascar truck i'm gonna do it right this time (chemo starts tuesday!).

the long story alot of you have heard, it basically starts back around thanksgiving when i was feeling the general holiday malaise and tiredness. this progressed to loss of appetite, night sweats and fevers. when one day i came to work and realized that i could not stand the thought or taste of chinese food i knew something was wrong - so i went to the doctor. they took some blood, and some scans, and saw a mass in my center top chest. i next went for a cat scan, at which they thought something might be serious. during this the holiday came and went, and i went for something called a PET scan which is like a super radioactive scan. this showed a fluid buildup in my heart and lungs (due to my lymph nodes inactivity due to cancer) which meant i had to go to the hospital right away. i went in on thursday the 3rd, they drained my heart sac with a big needle on friday the 4th (took out over a liter, boy did i feel better), i watched many a western and american gladiators on the 5-6th, got a biopsy done on the lmyph nodes on the 7th, got bone marrow taken out for testing on the 8th, recovered and went home the 9th. the tests all came back as the doctors had hoped (there are far worse fates for cancers, diseases, etc than this one) and i was diagnosed on the 9th of jan. 

then i got out and went to work for a little, went home and slept, then came back today (10th) and worked all day. "but jason, you've got cancer, you should be feeling sorrow and pain and darkness and trying to get out of working" aha, but i did that before, with the knee, and this time i can walk and i don't feel that bad and the drugs they give you for all this have much improved to the point where you just go do the treatment and life goes on.

-----------

commonly asked questions-

how did you get this disease?

it is genetic but before chemo came around they couldn't cure it. some engdahl back in the day probably dropped from it and they just wrote it off to the plague or something. consumption?

how long is the treatment?

6 months

will you be really weak and need to be waited on hand and foot during chemo?

i don't think so, all the doctors said the anti-nausea meds they have now are quite good and you can pretty much go back to work same day. my greatest wish is to continue life as close to normal as possible tho so i assume it will be biz as usual. i assure you if i need any help i will reach out to you, my friends and family.

but i really want to do something for you because i do things for people etc...

the best thing you can do is give blood or platelets. as hackett noted "it makes you feel light headed and giddy, just like all the medievel bloodletters claimed!" thats true, but it also helps all types of people like me who randomly end up in the hospital or with cancer. a lot of chemo patients need platelets for their work coz it messes them up so much. when i was giving blood i gave at NY blood center

http://www.nybloodcenter.org/index.jsp

they will give you cookies and juice and let you watch tv shows like "dogs with jobs"

aren't you worried/scared/freaking out/breaking stuff/blaming someone?

nope. something things happen and you just have to take care of it. it could be much worse. i appreciate all the thoughts and wishes people have sent my way and will definitely tell you if i need errands/cleaning/alternative medicines/food

will you lose you hair?

only the stuff that grows fast, and that might grow back really thick. so maybe i won't be so "thinning" anymore! shane has offered to ritually shore my locks so i will let you know when that happens

are you going to get a nice new set of hats or just some really cheap wigs?

probably a few of both

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so that's the long and short of it, feel free to email me with any questions, i just wanted to let everyone know because you can imagine telling the story over the phone gets you only the ten second version (see below). feel free to pass this info on to anyone i forgot, no secrets here. 

and remember it's all gonna be ok.

hugs for ever

jason

TEN SECOND VERSION

I HAVE SOMETHING CALLED HODGKINS LYMPHOMA IT IS A VERY COMMON CURABLE FORM OF CANCER WHICH REPONDS WELL TO CHEMO WHICH I START ON TUESDAY. THE CURE RATE IS OVER 90% AND I AM GOING TO BE FINE THO I WILL LOSE MY FINE FLOWING LOCKS.